Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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