how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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