nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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