There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
