Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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