Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
