i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
