He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
