you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Sober January is a disaster.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
