It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
