a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
