There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
