I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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