nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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