Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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