Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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