please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
