So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
