In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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