Sry I called you an 8
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
