Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
