Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
