dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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