yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
