ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
