I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
