If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
