Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
