I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
