she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
