There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
