Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This is my gift to your gina
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
