I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
