i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
