WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
