we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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