guys are not supposed to queef...right?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
