I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
