We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
