he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
