do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
