Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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