She just used a chaser for red wine.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
