I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
