Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
