I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize