I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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