he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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