Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
