can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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