I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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