He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
